


And She Was

by FoxoftheDesert



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Christmas Fluff, F/F, Feels, RedQueen, Ruby Being A Sweetheart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-26
Updated: 2015-12-26
Packaged: 2018-05-09 09:56:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5535563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoxoftheDesert/pseuds/FoxoftheDesert
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Part of the Price of Destiny universe detailing Ruby and Regina's first Christmas together as a couple.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And She Was

**Author's Note:**

> Standard Disclaimer: They ain't mine, I just borrow them. Hope that's okay A&E! Also: alert me to errors and I will fix them.

The first rays of Christmas morning sunlight were peaking through the windows as Regina awakened, bathing her bedroom in a soft, golden hue. She blinked her eyes against the light, groaning sleepily.

Rolling over, she discovered her girlfriend's side of bed vacated, the covers having been folded down and her pillows neatly stacked. Bleary eyed, she glanced over at the clock on the nightstand. It was 6 am. She frowned, trying not to be disappointed that Ruby was already out of bed at such an early hour. She had actually been looking forward to waking up to the sight of her peacefully sleeping face this Christmas, which was a bit surprising in itself.

Now laying alone in her giant bed, Regina allowed her mind to wander back to the days when she hadn't felt so positively toward the holiday. To say that she had been a bit of a Scrooge when it came to the holidays was a massive understatement. Even from the very first holiday season under the curse, she had hated its loathesome festiveness. Considering her past, that shouldn't have been a surprise, but she had thought at the time – had been hoping, actually – that the curse would be her chance at a happy ending along with _everything_ that entails, including a joyful holiday spirit.

By the time the first Thanksgiving in Storybrooke had rolled around, Regina had already begun to grow marginally weary of the monotony and loneliness that came with being the only person in town for whom time did not stand still. In those early days of the curse, she had gleefully basked in the unhappiness plaguing her former subjects. Though the joy she derived from others pain (Snow White's in particular) had satisfied her for a time, unfortunately the general dissatisfaction of her enemies had not brought her the kind of happiness she had spent her life searching for.

What contentment she had managed to retain by that point had evaporated as the end of Novermber rolled around. It seemed that even in their chronically miserable state, the denizens of the cursed town were still able to scrounge up a measure of happiness during the holidays. Her curse had supposed to take away all happy endings but her own, yet the families and friends of Storybrook still celebrated the holidays with smiles and laughter. As a result, Regina had spent most of that first holiday season simmering with rage and that feeling had persisted on through the years.

Of course, so closely removed from being the Evil Queen, she had not wasted any opportunity to take out her misery on the citizens of Storybrooke. Sometime during that first Christmas, her witless victims actually began referring to her as Mayor Scrooge behind her back. The moniker had at first offended Regina, but over time she grew to embrace her foul attitude around the holidays as an excuse to make life as intolerable as possible for others.

This pattern persisted for 18 long years, until the day that Henry came into her life. That first Christmas with her son had been the first that Regina truly enjoyed. Even the people of Storybrooke had noticed the change in her and had expressed their relief in varying, though always skittishly wary ways. But she had been so happy and so focused on her son that she hadn't cared whether or not they were pleased with her change in attitude.

That first Christmas with Henry had been an unparalleled experience for Regina. She had spent the entire day doting on her infant son. She had even gone so far as to purchase a Christmas tree, adorning both it and her home with a tastefully modest form of festive decoration. Later that night, sitting in the living room of her palatial estate with a warm fire crackling in the hearth, she had regaled him with stories, cooing and bouncing him with a smile so wide it left her face sore the next morning. Regina was as happy that day as she had been since Daniel's death.

For the next 8 years, Christmas in the Mills' household was always a special occasion. It had honestly become the highlight of Regina's year to witness the joy on Henry's face when he opened his first presents on Christmas morning. The abundance of delight and excitement he exhibited brought warmth and life back to her blackened, frigid heart. Motherhood had become her greatest accomplishment, overshadowing even her position as one of the most powerful practitioners of magic to ever live. And she never felt more like a successful mother than on Christmas morning as she contentedly watched Henry tear into his presents.

Regina savored every single one of Henry's gasps of surprise or shouts of unrestrained glee at the toys and books she gave him. But her favorite part of Christmas with her son was Christmas night, when they would curl up together on the couch and she would read one of his new books to him until he fell asleep. Those nights were the times she felt closest to him.

All of that changed the Christmas after Henry's 9th birthday.

Earlier that year, he had discovered that he was adopted. The jarring change in him had occurred as if almost overnight. Despite being his mother and having soothed all his fears and pains over the years, Regina hadn't known what to do or say to close the rapidly widening gap between herself and her son. She had tried everything imaginable, from over-indulging him to being overly strict. As more and more time passed and the distance remained unbridged, she became increasingly desperate. But nothing worked. Everything she attempted seemed to only further the distance between mother and son until it had began to seem insurmountable.

She had hoped that spending Christmas together might by the salve to finally heal whatever wound was afflicting Henry, but she had been wrong. Henry was as withdrawn as ever, showing barely any emotion at all beyond the perfunctory thank you as he opened his presents. So to say the least, the entire day had been a tense and painfully uncomfortable day for them both. That Christmas night had ended dismally for her, as she ended up all alone on her bed crying silent tears of grief. Regina had felt as if Henry were slipping through her fingers like sand through a sieve and her feeling had soon been exacerbated, for not long after that, Mary Margaret had given him the infernal storybook that eventually lead him to run away to Boston to bring Emma Swan to Storybrooke.

Regina's relationship with Henry had never completely recovered from the damage that ensued with Emma's arrival in Storybrooke. But in the years since, they had managed to salvage a real relationship out of the distrustful, dysfunctional one they had fallen into since he had learned of his adoption. At long last, they were finally making true progress toward regaining a measure of the closeness they had once shared.

Part of that progress was due to Regina's own personal growth, but she also knew a great deal of it was due to Henry's own increasing understanding of the world. Enough had happened in Storybrooke since the curse broke that her son at last began to grasp the fact that life was not so black and white as he had once believed it to be. After all, he had witnessed villains make heroic sacrifices - such as his grandfather Rumplestiltskin had - but he had also watched the people he viewed as infallible heroes make tragic mistakes that lead to innocent people being hurt. At last he was learning the great life lesson, which was that at in most cases, there were no heroes and villains, just flawed, imperfect people making good and bad choices. Consequently, his patience and understanding where his mother was concerned had significantly improved.

But Regina also knew that another integral part of what had helped her to rebuild her relationship with her son was Ruby. The success of their relationship had helped Regina to regain a sense of her self-confidence that she had been missing; namely, the one that was not reliant upon any other person for her happiness. It might sound paradoxical that a relationship had taught her the value of self-contentment, but it had because Ruby was diligent in patiently emphasizing to Regina that in order for her to make a truly permanent change, she first had to learn to love and accept herself.

A healthy self-image was not something that came easily for Regina, as the truth was that she had struggled with insecurity since childhood. Obviously, her actions as the Evil Queen had done nothing to help those issues, instead serving only to add self-hatred onto her list of personal issues.

Few people Regina had ever known wrestled with self-hatred in the way that she did, however she had come to discover that Ruby was such a person. As their relationship progressed, she had learned that Ruby shared in her painful past in more ways than she had ever known anyone else to. For instance, both had deeply ingrained mommy issues; in fact, both she and Ruby had actually killed their own mothers. Also, both women had been scarred by the loss of their true loves in horrific ways at a young, impressionable age.

Regina always liked to believe that watching her mother murder Daniel was as terrible an experience as could happen to someone as young and deeply in love as she had been but she had been mistaken. While they were still in the early days of their relationship, Ruby had confessed to Regina that she had not only killed her true love - a young man named Peter - but that she had actually eaten him while under the influence of her lycanthropy. After Ruby had recounted the awful story in detail, Regina had been understandably shocked, but much more than that, she had ached for Ruby. It still hurt to think about what the woman she loved had been forced to needlessly endure, all because the one person she trusted most in the world had thought it best to withhold the truth from her. It was hard for her to imagine what that had been like for Ruby.

When Daniel had been killed, Regina had very nearly lost her mind. For quite some times afterward, she even struggled with suicidal thoughts. Only her overarching desire for vengeance had staid her hand, holding her together by the barest of threads until the darkness she chose to embrace had sewn her back together into the monstrosity she became. After finally giving in to that darkness, all of her focus had turned to her insatiable thirst for revenge.

But looking back now on her past state of mind, Regina knew that if she had been forced to endure what Ruby had, she probably would have taken her own life. At the very least, she would have been driven insane. Regina had suffered the loss of her true love, but it had been the hand of another that struck the blow. She had somewhere to focus her grief. But Ruby did not have that luxury. Instead, she was haunted to the present day by the fact that she was directly responsible for her true love's death.

Regina couldn't begin to imagine how hard it would be for her to even get out of bed in the morning with such guilt crushing her heart and mind. But Ruby did just that every day and always with a smile on her face. In her grief, it would have been very easy for Ruby to have chosen surrender to the monster inside of her as Regina had. Instead she had opted to come to terms with it, learning in the process how to accept the beast as a part of her without letting it rule her. That made Ruby the strongest person Regina had ever known.

Regina had asked Ruby once how she managed to stay sane after Peter's death. Ruby had simply explained to her that in order to move beyond her pain and guilt, she had to learn to accept it, to forgive herself and to love herself despite all she had done. Considering the multitudes of iniquities in Regina's own life, she had believed that an impossible feat for her. Ruby had not shared that opinion.

“You _can_ learn to forgive and love yourself, Regina,” she had emphatically declared. “I know you can because I did it and you are so much stronger than I am. Besides, I choose to accept you for who you are, not who I think you can be. I don't want you to change. I just want you to be happy and I want the chance to be the person that makes you happy if you'll give it to me.”

Against all instinct, Regina _had_ given Ruby that chance. The strong-willed werewolf had then proceeded to succeed beyond her wildest expectations. On a daily basis, Ruby was teaching her to forgive herself with every smile and with every touch, and she was teaching Regina to love herself with every kiss and every, “I love you.” Now they were living together and Regina was truly happy.

She had never been in a real relationship as long lived as the one she had with Ruby, so every day was a new adventure for her. That made the prospect of Christmas exciting again for the first time since Henry had found out he was adopted.

Back in the moment, Regina yawned as she stretched. Sitting up, she tossed back the covers and swung her legs out of bed. She then proceeded to go about her morning ritual.

Once she left the bathroom after having done her business, the lovely smell of something sweet being baked began to filter through the closed door of her bedroom. She wondered what was going on, figuring it had to be Ruby because as early as it was, Henry would still be sleeping in his room across the hall. Now curious, Regina decided to forego getting ready entirely.

Still clad in her red silken pajamas, she crossed over to the bedroom door and carefully opened it. Padding barefoot and silently down the hallway, she was assaulted by the inviting smell of whatever confection was baking in her kitchen. Her mouth began to water involuntarily.

When she got to the stairway, she then made her way stealthily down the stairs, at last coming to an unobstructed view into the living room. She discovered Ruby sitting cross-legged on the floor beside the Christmas tree, meticulously wrapping a last minute gift that appeared to be a bit larger than a shoe box. Her girlfriend was dressed in her favorite, well-worn red flannel button up shirt, the sleeves of which were rolled up the elbow. Her long legs were bare and a festive Santa hat rested atop her head with its puffy tip falling limply down to the side.

Since Ruby was facing the entryway, Regina was afforded a clear view of the happy, carefree visage of the woman she was blessed to share her life with. A beaming smile adorned Ruby’s face as she contemplatively fingered the paper of the present she had just finished wrapping. Taking a breathless moment to appreciate her girlfriend's truly extraordinary natural beauty, Regina's eyes drank in their fill of a long, elegantly straight nose, on to the curtain of dark curls that framed her face, then to the nearly invisible dusting of freckles across her nose and cheeks, and finally on to very familiar lusciously pink lips.

In that moment, seeing Ruby so beautiful and happy and festive, a sense of such serenity and completeness washed over Regina that she wanted to freeze the moment in time and capture it for all eternity. If this was what a happy ending really felt like, she didn't think she could ever live without it again. Snapping Regina from her reverie, Ruby proceeded to place a bow on the present and then carefully attached and addressed a card. They had taken care of Henry's presents earlier, so Regina began to be curious as to what it was, but inevitably decided that it was irrelevant because she would find out soon enough anyway.

After finishing wrapping that present, Ruby gently placed it beside her and then shifted onto her knees, a slightly uncomfortable expression on her face. For a long time, Regina just stood there on the stairs contentedly smiling at what she knew to be Ruby's adorable anxiety about her first Christmas as part of the family. Several times over the past few weeks, Ruby had expressed worry that Henry would object to her being there and that she didn't want to infringe upon whatever traditions Regina and her son had developed over the past ten years. It was, to Regina, ridiculous that Ruby felt that way considering that both she and Henry were equally crazy about their newest family member and that Ruby was just plain fun to be around.

Not once in the months since Ruby moved in had they participated in a family activity in which Ruby's presence detracted from the experience. Quite the opposite stood true, actually. Whether it was playing cards, board games, watching TV shows or movies, or even playing video games, Ruby had a way of making things so enjoyable that even Regina was able to relax and have a good time. Since Ruby moved in, Regina started noticing such things about herself, like that she was smiling more and laughing more and behaving in a more socially agreeable manner in public that even the citizens of Storybrooke had picked up on. To her surprise, she had found the change to be a welcome one for it was a sign of her general happiness these days, much of which she owed solely to Ruby. There was just something about Ruby that Regina could not put her finger on, an innate ability to lift the spirits of those around her or to put a smile on someone's face who was having a dreadful day.

It was a rare occasion indeed for a person to leave Ruby's presence feeling worse than they did before, which is why Regina found it so illogical for the girl to be fretting so much over her being present at Christmas. Still, Regina tolerated the insecurity because it was a big change for everyone, Ruby in particular, so there would likely be adjustments for everyone to acclimate to. Yet having said that, Regina could control her amusement as Ruby's worrying expressed itself through her agonizing over the arrangement of the presents. More than once, Regina had to physically bite down on her lip to keep from audibly reacting to changes in Ruby's face as she went about stacking and re-stacking presents according to size and color coordination. Ranging from frustration at not getting her stacking of a certain present just right to wistful in imagination as she pictured how Henry would react to the new video game she'd bought him, the emotions that played across her features seemed to elicit equally strong feelings in Regina of awe, wonder, love, and adoration.

But as all such things tend to,Regina's innocent voyeurism did not last for long, for soon after placing the last present in place with squeal of prideful delight, Ruby glanced up and caught sight of her on the stairs. Upon seeing Regina, the gorgeous smile on Ruby's face grew into one so luminous that it outshone the early morning sun filtering in through the shaded windows. Carefully standing, Ruby crossed the distance to the stairway and without a word, grabbed Regina by the hand and dragged her into the living room, where she ushered the pajama clad woman to sit on the sofa.

Turning back to the tree, Ruby quickly fetched the recently wrapped present and then returned to offer it to Regina.

“Merry Christmas!” she greeted enthusiastically once she was standing in front of Regina. Her green eyes were so big and twinkling with such merriment that Regina felt her chest suffuse with delicious warmth.

“Merry Christmas,” Regina replied with a genuinely happy smile. With a wave of her hand, she indicated to the present Ruby held. “What have you got there?”

Ruby looked at Regina with a shyly sly expression. “Oh, this? Just something special...for you.”

Regina's eyes widened. “Me? But why, Ruby? I thought we agreed to go easy on the presents since it's our first Christmas together. That does not appear to be going easy.”

For a brief moment Ruby's expression faltered, which made Regina internally cringe at her reaction. However, as infected as her girlfriend was by the holiday spirit, she recovered her cheer very quickly.

“We did but it's our _first_ Christmas together, Regina!” she exclaimed with wide, hopeful eyes. “I couldn't help myself. I love you _so_ much and you've made me so happy that I just needed to get you something to show you my appreciation. I know it's last minute so you didn't really know to get me anything, which is fine. I mean, that is what we agreed on. But I don't need anything else, 'cause my Christmas is already perfect just being here with you and Henry. So, please don't be mad. _Please._ ”

Regina sighed at the puppy dog eyes and pouty lips. _Damn her for being so irresistible,_ she thought, slightly annoyed at herself for not being annoyed at all. While she had every right tobe mad at Ruby for breaking their agreement since she had kept her gift to her girlfriend simple as agreed upon, Regina couldn't find it in herself to do so if only because Ruby was just being her sweet and so very thoughtful self that it touched Regina's heart.

“Of course I'm not angry, darling - just surprised is all,” she replied as she reached out to gently smooth a hand over Ruby's bare forearm.

A huge, toothy grin spread over Ruby's lips as she tucked the present underneath her left arm. “Good, because I think you'll like it. Come with me?” Ruby extended Regina her right hand, which Regina took with a genuine smile.

Regina allowed Ruby to usher her over to the couch and then guide her to sit her down. Seating herself next to Regina, Ruby offered her the present while looking charmingly bashful.

“Here, open it,” she said.

“Right now?”

Ruby nodded, adorably worrying her bottom lip.

“Alright,” Regina acquiesced with a hesitant smile, carefully taking the proffered present from Ruby. She carefully began to remove the blue and white checkered paper that had so lovingly been applied.

Once the paper was shed, a large black box was revealed. Regina looked up at Ruby with questioning eyes.

“Go on, open it,” Ruby indicated with a nod, wearing a rather nervous expression. “I hope you like them.”

When Regina lifted the lid, she gasped.

Nestled inside the box was a gorgeous pair of genuine black leather ice skates that were accented by flares of the dark, rich purple that she favored. But these were no ordinary, run of the mill, store-bought skates. Regina could tell by the delicate stitching and the intricate level of detail in the design that they were hand-made and expertly so at that. Besides the flares of purple, the outer side of each skate was artistically decorated with her monogrammed initials and the highly polished, gleaming silver blades were inscribed with her father's family crest.

For a moment, Regina sat speechless, taking the time to run the tips of her fingers over her initials and the crest that she didn't think anyone else knew about. She was so touched that tears began to stream down her cheeks. She covered her mouth to hold in a sob.

“Are they not okay? Do you not like them? Because I can find a way send them back,” Ruby said with distress, having misinterpreted Regina's reaction.

Regina looked up at Ruby to find her girlfriend's eyes brimming with fear and insecurity. She shook her head as she sniffled.

“It's not that,” she replied quietly. “They're perfect.”

Ruby's brow furrowed in confusion, her expression also laced with concerned. “Then what's wrong, hon? Why are you crying?”

Clutching the box the skates were in to her chest, Regina took a moment to gather herself. Waging an internal battle, she contemplated just how much of her past to reveal to Ruby. The cautious, skittish part of her wanted to duck having to explain her visceral reaction to a Christmas present, especially because she didn't want to ruin Christmas morning for them both. But the part of Regina that loved Ruby wanted to pull away the curtains that veiled her childhood from everyone else in her life and at last allow someone else to see her pain.

After a moments struggle, the latter won the battle. In the end the deciding factor was her absolute trust in Ruby. After all, her honest, forthright girlfriend had bared her own pain for Regina on several occasions now. At the very least, she owed Ruby this.

Taking a deep breath, Regina let it out heavily. Her chest ached with the heaviness of her memories.

“No one has ever done anything like this for me – given me a present like this, that is,” she said at last. “So, I don't know what to say. I'm not really equipped for this.”

Astonishment and hurt washed across Ruby's features. “No one has ever given you a gift? You mean like a Christmas gift or any gift in general?”

Regina looked at Ruby sorrowfully, biting her bottom lip. “I've been given gifts, of course, just not a true gift and certainly nothing like this.”

“What do you mean by that?” Ruby asked, tilting her head curiously, though her face remained somewhat distraught.

Regina sighed. “As far as Christmas gifts go, the only person who really even cared about me during the curse was Henry and he was too young to really think beyond himself. But even back in the Enchanted Forest, I was never given a present that did not come with a price or a requirement attached.

“I was given many gifts by Leopold and Snow during my time as Queen, but they were all tainted by bribery or expectation. And my mother didn't permit me unearned gifts of any sort when I was growing up, so there was that, too. Sometimes my father would sneak me little things, but nothing that might attract my mother's notice. He simply feared her too much to risk her wrath.”

Ruby's brow furrowed in disbelief. “Are you serious? You never got a birthday present because your mother forbade it?”

“Quite serious,” Regina brokenly replied. “She considered such things to be a frivilous distraction for me when I could instead be studying languages and courtly protocols or practicing the proper comportment befitting a future queen. My mother had a plan for my life from my birth, so she ruled my childhood with an iron grip. She was not the type of person to leave anything to chance.”

Ruby looked absolutely flabbergasted by the information. It tore at Regina to think back on her childhood and realize that it had been so aberrant. Even Ruby, with her comparatively meager upbringing, thought it inconceivable. Having raised a son and loved him and indulged him with more than she had ever received in her entire life, Regina also had a hard time reconciling herself to her childhood. But as surreal as it seemed in retrospect, it had actually been her life.

Her mother had never given her a gift as an expression of her unconditional love for her daughter. In fact, if Regina were ever given anything at all, it had been because she had earned it by being a good girl in completing her lessons or chores or studies to Cora's complete satisfaction. Even as loving as her father had been, he had never been permitted to spoil or indulge her in such a way, even on her birthday. Regina could always tell it pained him, yet he did nothing about it.

She had wondered more than once if her grossly abnormal childhood was the primary reason she had such a hard time accepting things from other people. She had been conditioned to instinctively look for the strings attached to anything she was given. Regina hated conducting such psychoanalysis on herself, but she had to grudgingly admit that there was probably merit to the self-diagnosis.

At a very young age, she had learned that where her mother was concerned, there were always expectations attached her attention, her praise, and even to her love. That concept had only been reinforced during her hellish existence as Leopold's queen. It was only natural then that it would follow her into Storybrooke. Regina had cast the curse hoping to escape her past, but it had wound up being a fruitless endeavor. The past had merely tagged along with her for the ride.

It was no great surprise then that Regina found herself floundering at Ruby's unsolicited gift. She had been thoroughly trained to see the ulterior motives behind everything. It seemed that ingrained habit extended even to her relationship with Ruby, a person she knew with all of her heart to be worthy of her trust. It pained her that even a shred of doubt existed about the nature of her girlfriend's Christmas present.

“ _Will I never escape my mother's chains?_ ” she thought to herself, loathing herself and cursing her broken childhood.

Regina tried unsuccessfully to hold her emotions in, but with every memory of yet another disappointing birthday and of cold, miserable holidays, she became overwhelmed. The weight of the past was bearing down on her so heavily and she was so tired of fighting against it. A sob broke free from her chest as she clutched her present like it was her only tether to the affirming warmth of Ruby's love.

Without a word, Ruby opened her arms to her. Regina fell into her girlfriend's welcoming embrace, laying her head on Ruby's shoulder as she at last allowed herself to properly grieve her dysfunctional childhood.

She wept for all the presents she never got as a child because her mother thought such things too superficial for a girl of her station. She wept for the sad expression her father always wore on her birthdays when he thought she wasn't looking, all because he wasn't permitted to openly indulge his only child. She wept for the loving mother she never got to know because she had literally ripped out her own heart, turning herself into a cruel, pitiless taskmaster in the process. And she wept for the tragically empty childhood of a girl who just wanted to be loved.

“I'm so sorry, baby,” Ruby cooed as Regina cried, rubbing her back in consoling circles. “I'm so sorry.”

“Don't be sorry, it's not your fault,” Regina rasped against the tear dampened fabric covering Ruby's shoulder.

Regina felt Ruby sigh more than heard it.

“I wish I could go back in time and fix it for you,” she said. “I would, you know? If I could.”

“I know and I love you for that,” Regina replied, nodding against Ruby's shoulder. She took in a steadying breath as she felt Ruby's arms tighten comfortingly around her.

“What can I do to make it better then?” Ruby then asked with a tightly emotional tone. “Just tell me and I'll do it.”

Pulling back, Regina looked at her with as much affection as she could muster, forming an unsteady smile through her tears.

“You're doing it now. You make it better every day just by being here...just by being you. So just keep being you, okay? That's all I need.”

Ruby nodded, giving Regina a watery, lop-sided grin. “I think I can manage that. But that doesn't change the fact that I plan on spoiling you enough for myself and everyone else who missed out in your life. So get used to it.”

Regina wanted so very badly to believe the promises Ruby was making. However, experience had been a merciless headmistress to her, so she found herself shamefully unconvinced. That shame came from her awareness that Ruby was the most trustworthy person she had ever known.

In the 11 months they had been a couple, Ruby had made many promises and she had yet to fail in delivering on even one of them. So when Ruby made such promises, Regina knew from experience that she would move heaven and earth to keep them. Trust was hard for Regina, but Ruby had earned it a hundred times over by now.

Determined for this particular purging of her past to be permanent, Regina took a deep, strengthening breath, allowing the haunting memories of her childhood to fade into the background. Instead, she focused wholly on the present and on the remarkable person she was privileged to call her love.

Thankfully, Ruby didn't seem to notice her momentary lapse of faith. Regina was immensely grateful. The last thing she wanted to do was plant a seed of doubt in Ruby's heart about the depth of her affections.

“So, on the topic of spoiling you, do you really like the present?” Ruby then asked, gesturing at the skates Regina held in her lap.

“I do,” Regina nodded fervently, feeling as if she had at last exorcised herself of a personal demon or had been relieved of a weight she had been carrying for far too long. Her tone began to echo that lightness. “In fact, I love them. As I said, they're absolutely perfect.”

“Really?”

Regina smiled. “Really.”

Breathing a sigh of relief, Ruby dramatically pretended to wipe sweat from her forehead. “Whew! I was worried there for a minute.”

“I'm sorry about that.”

“No, no, don't be sorry,” Ruby said as she reached over to brush her hand over Regina's cheek. “I'm just glad you like them. I remembered how much you loved our skating date last February and I didn't want us to have to keep renting skates, because I plan on doing that a lot more often if you're willing.”

Regina grinned, wagging her eyebrows playfully. “Oh, I'm willing...and able.” She saw Ruby's eyes dilate slightly and pulled back on the flirting lest they wind up shedding their clothes in the middle of the living room. However tempting the thought, Henry was sleeping just upstairs and he was a notoriously light sleeper when Christmas morning rolled around. She decided to change the subject. “Anyway, how on earth did you manage to get these made? I've never seen the like of the leather-work.”

Ruby blushed, shrugging as if what she had done were no big deal. “There's this local Russian guy named Nikita. He's a sort of tanner slash cobbler that came over in the second curse. I met him a few months before we started dating. I had an old pair of boots from back home that needed repair and I was looking for someone to fix them. Peter had bought them for me, so they meant way too much to me to take any chances with them. I asked around and got his name from Marco.”

Regina ran her fingers over the leather of the skates once again, admiring the craftsmanship. “Hmm, I've never heard of him, but he certainly does exquisite work.”

“That he does,” Ruby grinned.

Looking up at her girlfriend again, Regina reached out to tuck her finger under Ruby's chin, pulling her in for a sweet, lingering kiss. When they parted, Ruby looked slightly dazed, but happy.

“What was that for?”

“For being wonderful,” Regina answered with an adoring smile. “For giving me my first true Christmas gift. Mostly for loving me despite all my flaws.” Regina paused to run the tip of her thumb over Ruby's bottom lip. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Ruby replied, a huge, illuminating smile overtaking her features.

For a long time, they just sat there, smiling like love-struck teenagers who were completely in awe of one another. But the spell was broken by the sound of a timer going off in the kitchen.

“Oh, crap! The cookies!” Ruby exclaimed, shooting up from the couch. She looked down at Regina. “Wait here?”

Regina nodded and then chuckled in amusement as she watched her girlfriend scurry out of the living room and down the hallway in an altogether adorable manner. Even from the living room, she could hear Ruby scrambling about the kitchen to retrieve her cookies from the oven. The sound of the oven door opening followed soon after.

Sitting her present down at the foot of the couch, Regina leaned back into the comfortable cushions as she waited patiently.

After a few minutes, Ruby returned delicately balancing a tray on which sat a plate of cookies shaped as various Christmas themed objects and two steaming mugs of cocoa. Both smelled delicious.

Ruby extended the tray out to her with a grin. “Cookies and cocoa?”

“Of course, thank you!” Regina replied, returning her grin. She was immensely grateful for the effort Ruby had gone to in order to make this Christmas so special for her.

Regina took a mug of cocoa in one hand and a cookie in the other. She could smell the saccharine scent of the cookies mixing with that of the cocoa, creating a heavenly aromatic blanket of sweetness. Peering down at the cookie in her hand, she noted that it was shaped like a Christmas tree and was decorated with green and red crystallized sugar.

“They smell delicious,” she commented, and then daintily took a bit of the cookie, humming appreciatively at the texture and flavor. “And taste just the same.”

“Thanks,” Ruby said, flushing prettily as she sat the tray down on the coffee table. She then took a mug of cocoa and a red and white striped candy cane cookie for herself. “I wasn't sure how they would turn out to be honest. They're a modified version of Granny's recipe.”

“Well, they're fantastic. But I have to say, I'm disappointed that you've been holding out on me, Ruby Lucas,” Regina drawled, her mouth curving up into a suggestive smirk. “I didn't know you could bake so well.”

“I wouldn't quite go that far,” Ruby replied, her blush deepening even further, her cheeks now a rosy red. “I can bake a few things but I'm certainly not on your level - or Granny's either for that matter.”

“I wouldn't sell yourself so short, darling,” Regina said. “It takes a lot to impress me where confections are concerned and I am most certainly impressed.”

Taking another, more generous bite of the cookie, Regina closed her eyes to savor the taste. She moaned as she chewed, thoroughly enjoying the perfect sweetness. Once she had finished chewing, she swallowed with an exaggerated sigh. She repeated this process until the entire cookie had been eaten. When at last she opened her eyes, she caught Ruby staring at her with a mixture of pride in having elicited such a reaction and desire at the reaction itself.

Regina chuckled. “Down girl.”

“Not funny,” Ruby playfully scowled as she then took a bite of her own cookie, chewing it with exaggerated annoyance.

Regina gave her a wide, toothy grin. “Oh, come now, don't act so offended. I know the comment was unimaginative, but you have to admit it was humorous.”

“Sure,” Ruby said, the corner of her lips turning up despite her continued mock offense. “Just shut up and eat your cookie and drink you cocoa, whydontcha.”

“Yes, ma'am, Miss Bossy Pants,” Regina replied, giving Ruby a teasing salute. She then returned to take a careful sip from the piping hot cocoa.

Ruby shook her head with amusement. “Really? Miss Bossy Pants? Between the dog comment and the juvenile name calling, I can tell someone is in a good mood this morning.”

Regina hummed, her face radiating contentment. “After all of this pampering, I suppose I am.”

Touched by the comment, Ruby reach her hand across the tiny space between them, gripping Regina's free hand and giving it a squeeze.

“I'm glad. You deserve it,” she replied with a pleased smile before returning to her own cocoa.

For the next few minutes, they sat in silence as they ate a few more cookies each and drank the rest of their cocoa. Once their mugs had been drained dry, Regina looked over at the clock against the far wall, which read 7 am.

When Ruby noticed where she was looking, she too glanced at the clock.

“You should probably get Henry up or he'll be upset we let him sleep in so late. He was super excited to get to spend Christmas morning with you.”

“He was?” Regina asked a bit insecurely.

She had thought that Henry seemed to be anticipating spending this Christmas morning at home, but she didn't want to presume. Over the years, she had lost a bit of her ability to accurately decipher her son's moods, but since they were spending so much quality time together again, she was getting better at reading him.

Nodding her head, Ruby held out her hand for Regina's mug, which Regina promptly gave her. After having deposited both empty mugs onto the tray sitting on the coffee table, Ruby turned back to face Regina.

“You bet he was,” Ruby then said. “I spoke to him a little bit yesterday while you were fixing dinner. He seemed pumped. He's really missed spending Christmas mornings with you.”

“I've missed him, too, but why didn't he say anything to me?” Regina asked, both surprised by the information and a tiny bit wounded by the fact that her son had chosen to share such information with his mother's girlfriend rather than his mother. “I told him time and again he was welcome here any time he wished.”

“Yeah,” Ruby said with a slight drawl, “and he understood that. But I think after the curse, he felt too obligated to Emma and too ashamed at how he hurt you to say anything.”

Regina gave Ruby an appraising glare. “Is this your own estimation or did he elaborate these feelings to you?”

“A bit of both, maybe?” Ruby replied, her hand making a motion of teetering from side to side. “He never came straight out and said anything like that, but he's mentioned several times how ashamed he was... _is_ of how he treated you back then. But also, Emma had really needed him at the time and I know for a fact how clingy she can be where he's concerned. Snow is the same way with Emma sometimes, so I guess she comes by it honestly.”

“Don't I know it,” Regina replied, huffing dramatically.

“Anyway, yeah,” Ruby said, chuckling at Regina's reaction to her statement. “He's really looking forward to this. Especially since I might have casually mentioned the possibility of ice skating at the pond after he opens his presents.”

“Ruby!” Regina exclaimed, glaring at her abashed girlfriend who was ducking her head.

“I'm sorry,” Ruby apologized, looking up at Regina through her lashes. “It's just that it's been below freezing for the past week, so Henry and I have both been chomping at the bit to get out there. Besides, it's snowing on Christmas morning to boot, so the weather is perfect for an outdoor skating adventure! Plus, there's the fact that some totally awesome person got you those rad new skates that you just _have_ to try out.” When Ruby saw Regina roll her eyes and smile, she couldn't stop a grin of her own from forming. “Can I take that as a yes?”

Sighing dramatically, Regina nodded her head in acquiescence. “I suppose it _could_ be fun. And you are correct, I do believe these magnificent skates need to be properly broken in. What better way to do that than with my family on Christmas?”

By the time she had finished her answer, Regina was grinning like a fool herself. Her giddiness made her almost feel like one, but she was too happy to be concerned with such perceptions, even her own.

“My thoughts exactly!” Ruby replied, lightly smacking Regina's thigh as she popped up from the couch. “Anyway, let me take this tray into the kitchen and get Henry's cocoa ready while you get him up.”

Regina latched onto Ruby's hand before she could turn away fully.

“Alright, but I need a kiss first,” she said with a coy expression.

One of Ruby's perfectly arched eyebrows rose as her green eyes twinkled. She began to very slowly lean down toward Regina.

“Is that so?”

“It is,” Regina answered, wasting no time to grab a fistful of Ruby's flannel shirt, pulling her girlfriend down to press their lips together.

Ruby softly moaned through her throat at the contact, moving her lips delicately over Regina's for several long seconds before seperating them with an exaggerated smack. She pulled away looking supremely satisfied.

“On that very positive note, I'll be on my way,” she said, then turned to pick up the tray.

Looking back over her shoulder with a suggestive wink, Ruby began to sashay out of the living room, the muscles of her bare thighs rippling and flexing with her stride as her hips swung in a wide, tantalizing arc. Hypnotized, Regina took a deep breath, sighing with appreciation at the sight.

Once Ruby had disappeared down the hallway, Regina stood from the couch and crossed through the living room with a happy smile on her face. After reaching the bottom of the stairs, she stopped for a minute to listen to the sound of Ruby singing “I'll Be Home For Christmas” as she went about her business in the kitchen.

Regina hadn't imagined in her wildest dreams that Ruby would be able to hold a tune, but she had a surprisingly beautiful voice. The first time Regina had heard Ruby sing, she had been suitably impressed. It had been an adjustment when Ruby had moved in, but now, she couldn't imagine life without the sound of Ruby's impromptu serenading, even if most of the songs she chose were atrocious.

As Regina began to ascend the stairs, she stopped abruptly halfway up, having recalled something. She rushed back down the stairs and made her way to the kitchen. Peeking her head around the corner, she saw Ruby leaning halfway over the kitchen sink as she washed their mugs, her legs and the bottom half of her rather revealing panties on prominent display.

“Ruby,” Regina called out.

Ruby froze, the soapy dish cloth she was washing the mugs with still inside one. She turned her head to look at Regina with questioning eyes.

“What's up, babe?”

Regina raised her eyebrows and began to leer with exaggerated suggestiveness at Ruby's shapely, panty-clad bottom and her deliciously naked legs.

Following Regina's line of vision, Ruby's mouth made an 'o' shape when she understood the inference. “Oh.”

“Oh, indeed, darling,” Regina chuckled. “Perhaps you ought to put some pants on before my 14 year old son gets an eyeful.”

“Yeah, that might be wise,” Ruby replied, smiling ruefully. “I'll head up and throw something on after I wash this cup, okay?”

Regina nodded her acceptance and turned to leave, but not before indulging herself in one last eyeful of her girlfriend's undeniable physical perfection. Glancing up, Regina saw Ruby's head tilt to regard her with a brash expression at the pronounced hunger that was obviously written all over her face. Regina didn't even bother with the pretence of blushing. They were far past that stage by now.

Instead, she doubled down, licking her lips and grinning with purposeful wantonness.

“MmmMmm! That ass. _Damn!_ ”

 _Damn, indeed,_ she thought as she abruptly departed to make her way upstairs. She could hear Ruby 's melodic laughter from the kitchen at her parting comment. _You are one lucky woman, Mills._

And she was.

That fact was later reinforced by the wonderful Christmas day she spent with her family. Henry was at his best as he opened his presents, smiling lovingly at his mother and cutting up with Ruby as they were wont to do. Afterward, they journeyed out to a frozen pond north of town as agreed and spent hours skating and laughing with each other. A couple of times, impromptu snowball fights broke out, each ending with the whole family in a giggling heap. By the time they got back home, they were all cold and wet, but full to bursting with happiness.

At about 3 o'clock in the afternoon, Emma arrived to pick Henry up for their own celebration. Before departing, Henry hugged them both, telling them that he loved them. Emma also wished both Regina and Ruby a Merry Christmas. To her eternal surprise, Regina had easily returned the sentiment, going so far as to beam happily at the Savior as she held Ruby's hand in the doorway. As it always was, it was sad to see Henry leave, but Regina was comforted by memories of their day that she would treasure for as long as she lived.

After Henry left with his birth mother, Regina did some prep work for dinner. When that was done, she and Ruby curled up on the couch to watch Christmas movies together. Ruby chose _Home Alone_ and Regina, always a snob for the classics, stuck with _A Christmas Carol_ starring Alastair Sim.

When the movies finished, they ate their first Christmas dinner together. Regina went all out, cooking a La Noche Buena meal, which was a traditional Spanish Christmas Eve meal. For their appetizer, they had Champiñones al ajillo, which were ajillo mushrooms, dripping with olive oil, garlic, and dry Spanish Sherry. The main dish was Cordero Asado or roast lamb and rice. For desert, she fixed mantecados, a type of crumble cake. They both splurged, indulging themselves generously until they could hold no more.

Having eaten dinner, Regina started a fire and they curled back up on the couch to watch _It's a Wonderful Life_. Normally, she wouldn't have cared for such sentimentality, but she seemed to be getting soft lately. In any case, she enjoyed the experience. As they watched the movie, in a strange way, it helped her to visualize the impact Ruby had on her life. When George Bailey had wished himself away, everything changed in the lives of his loved ones. Without recognizing it, he had made an indellible impact on so many lives. Regina knew that it was the same with Ruby and the more she thought about it the more she realized she couldn't imagine a life anymore without her beloved werewolf in it.

Later on that night and quite out of the blue, Ruby insisted that Regina change into something more festive. Wanting to preserve the good mood, she semi-reluctantly agreed, so she went upstairs to get dressed at her girlfriend's behest. After several minutes of indecisive contemplation, she wound up settling on something tastefully simple: a v-necked crimson red sweater and a white candy cane striped pencil skirt, complemented by a pair of candy apple red Louboutin pumps.

When she came downstairs from changing and stepped into the entryway of the living room, Regina discovered it bathed with candle light. Along with the Christmas lights and decorations, flickering orange light of the fire stoked in the hearth set a scene so enchanting that it took her breath away. And there in the middle of the room stood Ruby, looking radiantly beautiful in a tight, though very stylish Mrs. Santa style Christmas dress.

Upon seeing Regina, she proceeded to cross the room to turn on the stereo, setting it to repeat. Regina stood motionless at the threshold as she then intently watched Ruby very deliberately walk the short distance over to her with a soft smile on her face and the dulcet tones of Frank Sinatra's rendition of “I'll Be Home For Christmas” flooding the room.

Extending her hand out, Ruby licked her crimson lips with a demure blush. “Would you do me the honor of this dance, my Queen?”

Regina's breath caught in her lungs again. Wordlessly nodding, she took Ruby's proffered hand and allowed herself to be pulled into the middle of the living room. Once there, Ruby wrapped her arms around Regina's neck, pulling their bodies into full contact as they began to sway along with the music. As Regina wound her own arms around Ruby's slim waist, she rested their foreheads together, breathing in both the moment and Ruby's alluring scent. For almost an hour, they danced in each others arms, basking in the warm glow of their love as they shared sweet smiles, tender kisses, and heartfelt endearments.

When at last the clock read 11 pm, Regina silently led Ruby upstairs, where she proceeded to give her amazing girlfriend a Christmas present to remember - over and over again. Later that night, after having thoroughly exhausted one other, Regina lay awake with Ruby sleeping soundly and half sprawled across her body, head resting on her chest just beneath her chin. Tracing lazy patterns with her fingertips across the small of Ruby's back with one hand, Regina reached up with the other to tuck her curtain of hair behind her ear, revealing one half of the serene, youthful, and peerless beauty of her beloved's face.

“I love you, Ruby Lucas,” she whispered into Ruby's dark hair, sighing in absolute contentment and so overwhelmed by the incredibly precious woman in her arms that a well of seemingly limitless emotion sprang to life within her breast, spilling out in the hushed words she spoke to her sleeping angel. “One day, I hope I can be brave enough to say these things when you can hear me, but I hope you somehow know that I mean them all the same.

Taking a deep breath, she let it out, feeling Ruby's hair tickle at her nose with the movement of the air. “I need you, Ruby,” she began, “more than words can express. Other than Henry, you are the best thing that ever happened to me. I don't know what I did to deserve you, but I'm not about to complain because I didn't know happiness could be this way, that it would taste so sweet and feel so sublime. Yet somehow, you've given it to me, and even though I know I'm not easy to live with, you bring me new joy every day while at night, you've become the moon that fills my darkened sky, selflessly giving me light where there was so little before you.

“I don't ever want to know a life without you in it, my darling, although it scares me how much I've come to depend on you. But even so, it also exhilarates me, fills me such hope and awe and wonder that I could burst. You know, I never thought I could find love again after I lost Daniel, but I'm so glad I was wrong, and I'm so very glad that it was with you. We've only been together for a little less than a year, but I'm convinced that if I were given the choice of any person who ever lived, it would be impossible for me to find any who could fulfill me in the way that you do. I believe it with all of my heart that you were made for me and that I was made for you, and that's something that I thought I had lost the ability to believe in.

“But mostly, I just want you to know that you were worth it. You were worth the wait, Ruby. _So_ worth it. You're so much more than I ever imagined I would find, and I could endure a thousand lifetimes of my pain if I only knew you waiting for me at the end of it. So I want to thank you. Thank you for being you because I think you're about as close to perfect as a human being can get. Thank you for being so good to Henry, for taking him into your heart like he was your own flesh and blood. He loves you so much and I love you for the way you love him. And thank you, Ruby, thank you _so damn much_ for loving me and for giving me the most perfect Christmas I've ever had. If in my lifetime I'm able to make you feel half as cherished and loved as you have made me, I will have lived my life well.”

Having said her peace, Regina gazed down once more at Ruby, whose face remained relaxed and peacefully undisturbed in repose although a soft smile had stretched across her lips. A comforting, assuring warmth suffused her heart at the subconscious acceptance of her offering of devotion, and Regina closed her eyes, a smile of her own settled comfortably on her lips. Breathing in deeply, she exhaled slowly, repeating the process again and again until at last she began to drift off into the welcoming embrace of slumber. As she slipped into unconsciousness nestled beneath the covers, surrounded by the smell and the feel and the warmth of Ruby's skin, all she could think to herself was: _You are one lucky woman, Regina Mills_. And she was.

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this last year on FF.net for Christmas, but somehow neglected to do so here, so in the spirit of the season, I am rectifying that mistake. Here is this humble RedQueen offering, I hope it is to everyone's enjoyment! I also hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and wish you all Happy Holidays! There is much more to come from this little universe, so stay tuned. Love y'all!


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